Showing posts with label emotions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label emotions. Show all posts

6 February 2014

Sad Fury / Furiously Sad

By Roger Colins

Instead of dealing with our problems, Freud gave us all the easy way out with this lethal invention. 

Thinking that one has depression, makes one depressed. It's a paradox. It doesn't even exist and yet our clever little brains can force it into reality.

Try sadness or anger. It has to be one or the other and both are useful where depression is not. Being sad lets us educate our emotions, teaches us what to avoid in the future and how to deal with it when it does happen again. Anger will do the same but can also be used as motivation.

Sadness means that when we're done, we'll return to being content along with some added perspective. A little faith in the knowledge that the feeling won't last forever but will come back, and when it does, a little less intense next time. The same goes for happiness.

We want to avoid unhappiness and anger, that's what the purpose for them are. To identify the emotion, recognise it and discover where it came from so that in the future, such things may be preventable.

The only certainty we live with is death and we will always be sad when things come to an end but even then, the end is important in all things. When sadness ends, happiness begins and vice versa.

Emotions teach us to not waste our time. The trick would be to stay content.


Grumpy Teenagers

Puberty drips mind bending hormones into our blood to fire up an all enveloping furnace that burns the heart right out of us, replacing it with that annoying, infuriating sex drive.

If there were such a thing as a heart monitor for our emotional state then it would show a steady sinus rhythm up until puberty, and then go nuts. Every day after that, is a fight. A headlong, never ending war to get that insane pitch and trough back to a normal sinus rhythm.

The faster these ups and downs can be moderated, the less likely one is going to feel the illusion of depression.

Ecstatic joy is certainly a wonderful thing and where we would all want to stay, twenty four hours a day. It's not ideal however, as being mortifyingly sad every day is exactly the same thing.

What we're really after is serenity, a neutral balance between the two.

We know that happy times will come and go, we know sad times will come and go but until then, we need to be cool, calm and relaxed to see past the cloudy confusion of our emotions and work out what it was that made us so happy, what it was that made us so sad.


Neuro Chemicals

Shrinks play a dangerous game with patients because a patient will look up to their counsellor for help, even if that professional has the honesty to admit they really don't have a clue.

The patient still wants to believe this person must have some kind of understanding of the condition. They've been studying the damn subject for years. They must have some sort of answer.

Drugs, all drugs, do the exact same thing. Change the emotional state you're in. Anti depressants are specifically designed to simply remove all awareness of emotion. This is dangerous because they also remove progress. Drugs are a stop gap, the symptoms are temporarily removed but the problem carries on and gets worse the more it's left unaddressed.


Good can feel bad, Bad can feel good. Confusing, but quite fine because all that is happening is our emotions trying to figure out what we like and what we don't.

If a person managed to maintain a perfectly objective point of view upon experiencing their first kiss, or their first war time fire fight, they would not learn which they liked or not.

That person would find that they like everything and fear nothing. While the entire universe may turn into an ancient Greek interpretation of beauty, that person may be considered psychopathic and slightly less human, for these emotions are meant to make us what we are.

Therefore, a 'healthy' human would again balance them-self halfway between psychopathy and mania.


Hypnotised

Depression doesn't strictly exist because it cannot be defined. It's just a trick the mind plays to get around the problem because we can't see the forest for the trees.

Figuring out why we are depressed is insane, and that's the point. It simply doesn't exist because there is no such thing.

What we're displaying are the symptoms of utter confusion, not depression because we are so certain that it exists, so certain we feel like utter useless shit and want to know why, so it can be solved.

While logical, this happens only because objective reasoning has been replaced with an easy tag line that looks so damn accurate, but if you were to try and objectively reason what depression is you would only come up with a list of symptoms and nothing else.

Being depressed is nothing more than dancing around a problem one is afraid to face and the problem we need to face, simply doesn't exist; The problem of not knowing. Once we can admit that we don't know and may never know, then we can get back to the things that we do know and can work with.


People who are depressed are to be highly praised. These people look at life with an ideology that is pure and honest. These people view life in it's truest glory and understand that there is a solution to all problems so long as we work at them, for they have gone so far as to seek out a problem that doesn't even exist.

This is an innate, natural human condition that we all have to go through one way or another. It is the resolution of depression that is the trick, for depression is real and it's solution, illusory yet the illusory solution is based in logic and reality. Paradox solved.


Training

If everyone insists that something is real then you'll have a hard time believing anything contrary.

Control by training. It works best while still young. The brain stays quite plastic (changeable) up until the mid twenties so you've got a good ten years to teach yourself how to process the new slant to pubescent emotions.

If you're still depressed in your thirties, it's not too late but it is more difficult and this training has to employ slightly more advanced practices to compensate for a greater knowledge base but the method remains the same.

Training takes will power with concrete knowlegde and that is what we are having to learn. Instead of feeding off an emotion when it arrives, you take moment, breath once or twice and observe that emotion from a semi removed aspect.

Feel it, instead of allowing it to overwhelm and control.

Teaching oneself to control the effects of that emotion is the point so that there is give and take between the conscious part of you that conducts all deliberate action, and the randomly wired brain that fires off neurons which ever way it feels like, whenever it feels like doing it.

One can of course go too far and start feeling nothing at all. This is the same as feeling everything all the time so training has to also account for when, how much is too much sadness, or too much joy, or too much neutrality.


Anger versus Sadness

Depression accounts for these two emotions. They are in opposition. Anger is passionate, strong, a growling intensity that wants to do something positive, something actionable and fight out against that which we deem wrong.

Sadness is the opposite. Apathy, weakness, pointlessness and passive suffering. When these two opposites get mixed up then we become totally confused and label it depression.

It is worthwhile working backwards and do every effort to split depression back into these two constituents.

Deciding which bit is making us sad and which bit is making us angry gives something to work with and we'll be able to work through each in turn.

One might be depressed about work, a reason being that there is no satisfaction. We're angry that we are forced to endure this pointless job and that makes us sad. We are sad because we are unable to do anything about it, and that makes us angry.

Whichever emotion came first is the one to focus on and work through, without allowing it to delineate to the second. Stick with anger or stick with sadness because on their own there is resolve.

If sad, go talk to a loved one, cry your heart and let them feel that sadness. If angry, take a pillow and beat the shit out of it, scream, jump or run for as long and hard as you can.

Just make sure you don't let one emotion become the other until you've sorted out the first one first.

#psychology #emotions #depression

14 January 2014

Circular Balancing

By Roger Colins 

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Psychiatry is big business. A profession with whom can help in walking one through problems and suggest a course of action with a backlog of years of study and training. 

Sometimes this will require nothing more than a chat, sometimes regular therapy sessions are needed and sometimes, a course of medicine is to be prescribed but is this, counselling and psychiatry what we think it is?

A certain stigma has always been attached to the graduates of the mind. Hypnotists, shrinks and charlatans are the usual labels. Psychiatrists appear on the same gauge as dentists so far as trustworthiness is concerned because we value our minds just as much as we avoid dental torture. Fair enough? Perhaps not.

A good friend of mine posed that counsellors usually have a counsellor of their own, and their counsellor has in turn another counsellor for them to complain to. My friend added that perhaps God is the last counsel of appeal where I wittingly filled in the last blank;

'And then God, pissed off at all this bitching and complaining screws up all the counsellors patients.' the circle begins anew.

Council

Let us examine the position of a counsellor.

Anyone can be a council. Should one find themselves before a court of law their council is usually a professional but certainly does not have to be. A good friend is quite acceptable an advocate.

A good friend is by definition, the best council one could hope for and for some, psychiatrists will fill that role should the need be.

A counsellor is also a sounding board or forum for opinion where matters can be chewed over my some extra heads to work on whatever issue is in need for clarification. Two heads are better than one.

Counsellors can also be a person to give advice which is why good friends are the best at it. They have an advantage over everyone else in that their perspective is trustworthy. Strangers too can be excellent counsellors.

The local barman is a prime example, there for you to just double check whether or not you are talking incomprehensible bullshit or if he too understands the issue his patron is addressing. The good barman is a professional counsellor and here's why.

Barkeep

The perfect counsellor will sit and listen. The barman, faced with a semi inebriated customer already has a head start. He's used to it.

He has to stay sober the whole night while everyone around him slowly descend into raving blabbermouths. He also has a job to do while this is going on, give change, swap barrels, wash glasses and maintain a polite and welcoming disposition. His interest here lies.

The barman is therefore not allowed to deviate from this said propriety or he will be lacking in professionalism. The barman does not give advice because he is not dealing with a friend, he is dealing with a customer.

He is also not allowed to retreat, stop caring because the customer can just as soon grab their coat, down the last pint and leave never to return again thanks to this unkind reception.

The barman cannot go forwards, cannot go backwards. He may go sideways from time to time to prescribe alcohol.

The barman is a perfect council and this is what counsellors are there to do, just listen.

Here's What To Do

Should a counsellor start telling their patient what to do, where to go, how to think the patient will simply not take this advice and probably do the exact opposite.

On the other hand, if the counsellor simply doesn't care then the patient is lost and again will find somewhere else to frequent.

The psychology profession hardens their trainee's emotions by trial of fire.

A counsellor has the thickest of skins. Putting them through years of the most horrifying exposure from every quarter of mental illness, is to simply to prepare them for the real world.

Nothing short of life experience, so that once the student has graduated and encounters their first real patient they will be prepared to listen without personal interest should the patient start screaming they hate the counsellor's guts.

A bad counsellor gives advice, involving themselves in the patient's problems and subsequently becomes part of the problem themselves. The patient needs to immediately find a new counsellor when this happens.

Blown Gasket

Psychiatrists prescribe anti depressants for patients to stop their emotions. All emotions. Without emotions of love and hate we lose the trigger for not only the one problem that is bugging them but all of the others as well including those that are going along well, being solved.

If a problem is not progressing then we deny ourselves - accomplishment. In order to process emotions, they have to be allowed to go through pain, mistakes, accidents, suffering and pure living hell.

If you've never had the problem of a blown gasket you will have never experienced the frustration of sorting through a car manual for it, calling up a friend that knows about gaskets, being stuck under the car bonnet covered in oil.

You will also never know the satisfaction that arises when you've fixed it, shelved away all that new information, knowledge and experience nor the calming effect this experience has on one's own being the next time it happens.

Indeed, you will still be infuriated when it happens again but this time, you'll say to yourself that it is okay, because you know what to do to solve the problem, this time.

Mind Altering Drugs

Let's go back and say when the first encounter of a blown gasket happens, your counsellor pops their head around the corner and start digging in their bag for a pillbox. In a fit of rage you slug down a half dozen anti depressants and go back to the kitchen, leaving your car in the drive.

The car will never get fixed because you simply no longer care. Things will get worse. You won't be able to go to work, call in and tell them your car's broken without a care in the world.

The kids can't be picked up from school, you won't care if you missed the season finale of your favourite show or add the next wing to your model aeroplane.

Anti depressants are also anti ex-pressants. You need more glue, the glue is in the DIY shop and you need a car to get there, but you simply don't care any more because that pillbox is still full.

Having chugged the last one and it's effects worn off, your kids, your plane, your TV show and of course, your car all come crashing down around your head.

Gating Mechanism

Counsellors teach their thick skins to patients and do so by example.

Going to the third world, hanging out with the homeless for a night or shredding your muscles at a gymnasium purifies these irrational emotions by use of burning pain far more intense than the issue that was previously the centre of attention. Quite the opposite to chemical interference, it also adds a little negative reinforcement.

If your foot hurts, all you need to do is inflict a more shocking pain to a different part of your body and your foot will not hurt as much.

The foot should of course be left to heal in it's own time but for so far as emotional stability is concerned, put it into perspective with real world influence and practical action outside of the confines of one's own head.



psychology
counselling
antidepressants